One Look
by TylerSivan
Summary: Troyler AU. Tyler is back in his hometown, one which he has spent his life running away from. Troye is in his last year of college, a recent incident leaving him lost and weary. What happens when their worlds collide?
1. Introduction

_**One Look**_

Autumn in North Carolina, need I say more?

The sheer beauty of the morning was enough to throw even the laziest out of the comfort of their beds and to their windows to gaze at the promise of a magnificent new day. The sun shone in a flawless blue sky, its rays caressing the hills and kissing every red leaf leaving them blazing. Sunlight flooded the small town, flowing unto every building until the entire town looked like it had been touched by Midas himself; it crept into every house searching for a way in, maybe through a half closed window, a hole in the curtain, a gap on the roof or a crack in the door. It moved through the house and filled every living soul's heart with warmth. So when you close your eyes, take a breath of the chilly air and sip your steaming cup of tea, you can't help the smile that creeps into your countenance and admit that there is something magical about this place.

Everything in this town seemed to move in its own leisurely pace, time here was never of the essence. The figure down the road, hustling his way down the street panting, was definitely something that didn't quite fit in. With flustered cheeks and his bright blue hair perfectly styled, he was the only person who looked like he had a destination in mind and he was clearly out of breath. Everything about him screamed of 'success' from the DSLR camera that was slung on his shoulder to the 'better than you' look on his face.

The town was making him feel claustrophobic and stiflingly uncomfortable. Warmth, love and kindness were things that 23 year old Tyler had long forgotten and lost in the five years he had spent in a city that didn't care. The city had shown him the way to success: stepping over everyone he had ever considered a friend, it was a lonely road but one that he had no problem choosing. It was this town that was making him rethink his every decision. He shook his head desperately trying to push the thoughts away. There were too many memories impinging his senses with every step he took. It was like everything in this town had a memory attached to it. The clock tower stared ominously at him, the weight of the emotions and thoughts he believed to have left behind bore him down like a physical burden. He should have declined the wedding invitation. But then it was Zoe and Alfie, how could he possibly have said no to them? He shook his head again in irritation, wishing more than anything for the thoughts to go away. He needed to get some caffeine in his system. Fast. He pushed the glass door open and walked into the coffee shop. Not knowing what was in store for him inside.

21 year old Troye stared into his laptop screen and the blank page stared back. The cursor blinked constantly, mocking his efforts to make it move. He sighed deeply, the type of sigh that can only come out of a heart that has loved and lost. He looked up as he ran his fingers through his messy hair. The café was almost fully wooden with only one wall in the front which was just a large pane of glass through which the outside looked in but Troye looked at himself in his ghostly reflection. He looked like hell; there was a time that he could have even been considered good looking, cute even. He missed those days. He sadly shook his head, those days were gone and the cursor kept blinking; reminding him of the reality that he so desperately wanted to escape.

A bell chimed scattering his thoughts like dust in a wind. The door to the café opened and a figure walked in – he was wearing black leather moccasins, dark blue denim pants that fit him so well and a blue jacket coat that went so well with the color of his hair.

Tyler entered the café. Before he could get to the counter, a figure in the corner caught his attention. He was slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands. He was wearing worn sneakers, faded blue jeans and a dark denim jacket over a body-hugging black t-shirt.

And then their eyes met – one haunted by the past and one haunted by the present. Little did they know that that one look would change their lives forever.


	2. Coffee Shop

The blue haired boy cheeks which were a light pink from the biting cold settled into a deeper shade as the warmth seeped the warmth of the coffee house set in. His curious blue-green eyes fixated on his and somehow he could not look away. There was a nagging feeling about them - a feeling that you get when you think you've forgotten to turn the lights out in a house you locked miles away. Those eyes seemed to know something about him; it was boring down into his very soul. Somewhere deep in the unspoken gaze they made a connection. Troye forced himself to tear his eyes away and look at the ground as the other boy turned towards the counter. He couldn't help at him even though he had his back turned towards him. The boy shifted his weight on his feet as if he could feel Troye's gaze on his shoulders. Once he got his order he turned around to face him. Troye was suddenly overcome with a strong sense of embarrassment when he realized he was staring unashamed at the stranger in front of him. He attempted to smile but it came closer to a grimace. Then the blue haired boy smiled back and started walking towards him.

Troye's heart was hammering on his chest with impending dread with every step brought the boy closer and closer. He felt himself shrinking farther and farther into his seat and wished for the large leather couch to swallow him whole. He had never acted so boldly before,what was wrong with him? The boy was now standing opposite him, looking apprehensive at best. Troye willed his tongue to move.

"Hi." He croaked out.

He mentally slapped himself hearing his own voice. Troye cleared his throat and sat up. "Hi." He said, thankfully more coherent this time round. What was he supposed to say? "I'm sorry for staring, you looked familiar." He mumbled lamely, his gaze gradually dropping to the floor.

"That's quite alright; I guess I was staring too. But we don't know each other, do we?" The boy promptly replied. His voice was confident and perky, just hearing him sent a ray of light in his otherwise gray world. Troye felt the heat rise on his face seeing that the boy was still standing, as if waiting for an invitation.

"This is crazy, this should not be happening!" Troye thought as he quickly made an awkward gesture with his hand pointing to the seat opposite him. "Please uh… sit?" Troye said, afraid to look up with embarrassment. He couldn't remember if he had seen him before. "I don't think we do." He said still staring at the floor as he saw the other boy take the seat from the corner of his eye.

Troye wanted to disappear. He hadn't spoken to anyone since _the incident. _It felt extremely strange that his first conversation would be with a stranger, an attractive stranger, but a stranger nonetheless. "No, no… no." The boy began, pulling Troye away from his thoughts. The boy was now comfortably seated, leaning back and tapping his finger on his lip. He was looking away, looking contemplative. "I'm sure I've seen you somewhere. Did you attend _Graham High_ by any chance?" He asked looking at Troye. The boy spat out the school's name as if the very fact that he had to say it left a bad taste in his mouth. But the mention of his school brought a sense of warmth in Troye's heart; he wished he could go back and live in the time forever. He smiled fondly and replied, "Yes, yes I did."

Troye was about to add something when he was interrupted, "Well that makes sense then, I was there too. But I don't think you'll remember me." The boy said waving his hands as if to dismiss the topic altogether. "I'm Tyler by the way – Tyler Oakley" he said extending his hand across the table. Troye looked at the hand as if it was smeared in paint. The boy – no, Tyler started withdrawing his hand, taking in his expression. Troye mentally smacked himself again and quickly extended his hand almost grabbing Tyler's wrist "I'm Troye, Troye Sivan" he said lightly shaking his hand.

He saw Tyler's face fill with relief as he cracked a smile. Tyler's smile was wide, it crinkled his eyes and lightened up his entire face, Troye couldn't help but smile himself. The first genuine smile he'd smiled in over a month.

Troye was still holding Tyler's hand; he pulled away and coughed into his hand. Tyler pulled away and rested back on his chair. "So are you in Uni?" He asked as he sipped his coffee. "Yep, NCSU." said Troye, sipping his own coffee and immediately regretting it because it had gone cold. He forced himself to swallow the cold liquid before with a shudder, "What about you?" he asked. The handshake seemed to have done away with the worst of the awkwardness in the room. "Oh, I'm done with all of that. I'm a journalist for the New York Times." said Tyler. Troye must have looked confused because Tyler soon added "I'm only here for about a week, I came here for a friend's wedding."

Troye couldn't help but feel a slight sense of disappointment from creeping into his heart, some absurd part of him had thought that they could have been friends. "Cool." He said, not trusting himself to say anything else. "I have to write a paper which is due next week…" said Troye looking at his laptop. Just then the bell chimed again, Troye looked up to see that four men had walked into the coffee shop.

Troye immediately recognized them; they were in the school football team, a couple of years senior to him. Tyler followed Troye's gaze and Troye could tell that he recognized them as well. His body turned rigid as he slowly turned around, the smile was wiped away from his rapidly paling face. "I have to go." He said his voice uncharacteristically low and soft. He fumbled with his bag and hurriedly managed to take out a few dollars.

"Wait. Why?" Troye asked desperation etching his voice. "I just have to, I'm sorry. Maybe I'll see you around." He attempted to smile. Before Troye could even react, Tyler was off his seat and taking long quick strides towards the door. All Troye could do was watch. One of the four men turned around and noticed Tyler. "Hey!" he said elbowing one of his friends; "Isn't that Oakley?" All of them turned around. A wicked and menacing smile appeared on all their faces when recognition dawned on them. "Hey faggot!" One of them called out, Troye's stomach fell. "We thought we'd never see you again!" "Why did you leave us?" "We missed you oh so much" they all taunted. Tyler ran out of the coffee shop, head ducked, the men broke into laughter. Troye watched in dread and disbelief as the beautiful boy ran away with tears streaming down his eyes.

Without a second thought, he slammed his laptop, slung his bag and ran after him.


	3. Blue Eyed Angel

Tyler couldn't breathe. All he could do was put one foot in front of the other one as fast as possible.

Tyler couldn't hear anything. There was a high persistent ringing in his ears as if an explosion had taken place. Was there an explosion? Because he definitely didn't feel safe.

Tyler couldn't see. His glasses were foggy and his eyes stung with the agony of his mind.

Tyler couldn't feel much. All he could feel was the constricting of his throat and the hot streaks on his cheeks as tears ran angry rivulets down his face.

Tyler was scared. Somewhere in his mind, although foggy in trying to decipher the cluster of emotions that made his heart ache, he knew that someone was running after him.

Tyler was tired. He felt like he was running forever, when things finally started to come into focus. He could hear his own heart thumping loudly in his ears, feel it in his veins. His legs started to feel like jelly and he could taste blood with every ragged breath that he took.

He couldn't run anymore, his hand reached out and he held a wooden railing. He leaned heavily on it trying to take in normal breaths while taking in his surroundings. He was in a park and he was currently standing on a little wooden bridge that went across a lake. To his dismay, he realized the park was mostly empty. The roaring of his ears quieted down and was met by a terrifying sound – the sound of someone running behind him. His old high school bullies were always persistent. But like always he couldn't change the fact that he was gay. He had thought that the terror would have died down once he had left town but it was unchanged much like their hate for him.

He really should've declined the wedding invitation.

He felt helpless as he hunched over the railing, his body seemed to surrender as it reluctantly accepted the physical pain that it was about to go through. The foot fall was closer now, much too close. Tyler resigned to the inevitable beating that was a few steps away. A hand gripped his shoulder and he cringed away shielding his face and clenching his eyes shut.

The hand moved to his arm. The grip wasn't tight and neither was it rough but the light pressure was insistent. Tyler lowered his arm just about an inch to peek through with impending dread much like a watching a horror movie, except this was too real for comfort. Instead of seeing burly men, cracking knuckles and sporting predatory smiles; he was instead greeted by a pair of concerned blue eyes.

"Troye?" his voice was a squeak. Tyler felt light headed as relief flooded him. He collapsed on the bridge sitting, resting back on the railing. Troye sat down heavily beside him, "You-run-really-fast" he said in between breaths, he was panting, trying and failing to catch his breath. "Years and years of practice" Tyler said bitterly. Troye looked up, brows slightly knitted in confusion "Sports team?" he asked still breathing heavily. "I don't know" replied Tyler, relaxing a little bit as terror slowly left is system "would you call running away from bullies a sport?"

Troye's eyebrows flew up; blue eyes bright as he put together all the events in his mind. "Sorry." He said, his voice low as he rested on the railing as well. "Don't be. It wasn't you I was running from." Tyler replied.

Both boys stayed in silence as they let everything seep in and settle. They were sitting side by side on the bridge with tired legs sprawled out in front of them. The clouds had rolled in and it was getting a little chilly. The park looked beautiful. All the trees were a million shade between yellow and red. Leaves had fallen on the ground looking like a fiery red carpet. Even when he was running for his life he still chose a red carpet to run through, Tyler thought, dully amused. He hated this park, he hated the trees, and he hated everything about this town. Looking down at the willow tree down the lake, its tips looking into the lake, he remembered he had his first kiss under it.

Tyler felt like he was going to cry, but he was not going to in front of a stranger. Could he still call him a stranger after today? His mind wandered in the as the silence built a wall between them.

It was Troye who broke it, "So you were bullied because you were gay?" he asked bluntly, his eyes staring forward, looking at nothing. Tyler flinched at the words. No one had ever asked him so directly; he had a feeling that Troye was homophobic too. Troye's eyes were unreadable.  
"Yeah" Tyler sighed looking straight forward as, prejudice was inescapable, "Why? Are you going to call me a 'faggot' too?" he asked, his voice slightly quivering at the word. Troye turned around so quickly his neck snapped "What? No!" he said in earnest his eyes wide.  
Okay so maybe he wasn't homophobic, "Then why do you ask?" Tyler queried, curiosity getting the best of him .

Troye's eyes became distant again as he started chewing his lips. "I-it's" He stammered his voice shaking "It's-It's" he turned towards Tyler, his eyes desperate. Tyler was thrown off by the intensity of emotions behind them. What was it that was so difficult to get out? Tyler looked at the thin boy he had just met moments ago with bewilderment.

Troye took a deep breath closing his eyes. "It's because I'm gay too." He said opening his eyes to meet Tyler's. Troye's eyes were blank as he slowly nodded "and now you know" he added, bewildered himself "till yesterday it was just me".

At first the words didn't make sense to Tyler, but as silence passes by in the autumn breeze, he felt the weight of the words fall on his very being. Tyler didn't know what to say. This boy had just come out to him. This was huge. He needed to say something to him that was deep and meaningful because he'd probably remember this for the rest of his life. He took a deep breath.

"M-kay."

Tyler wanted to throw himself into the lake. He turned towards Troye afraid he had offended him; he must have thought that Tyler was making fun of him. Troye was looking at him, sullenly at first, then with quiet amusement as he took in Tyler's face. His expression must have been something admirable because the boy started giggling, Tyler watched uncomprehending as the boy slowly started laughing. His laugh was almost musical and his whole body shook as his eyes squinched with mirth "You should have seen your face" He laughed out. Tyler found himself laughing as well – at himself, at something, at everything, at the sheer absurdity of the last few hours. Both boys were clutching their stomachs by the time their laughing spell finally came to an end.

Troye got up dusted his jeans and extended his hand at Tyler. Him standing there against the bright sky, wind blowing in his hair, red leaves falling in the background and his eyes moist and smiling Tyler couldn't help but think that he looked like an angel.

He took his hand and pulled himself off the ground. They walked back in comfortable silence. Tyler was overcome with embarrassment "Let's not talk about this day ever again." Tyler said smiling while face-palming himself. Troye suddenly stopped beside him. Tyler turned around confused. Troye seemed to deliberate for a moment before he said "So maybe we could not talk about it tomorrow?" hands in his pocket and looking at the ground. Tyler didn't know what to say, did he just ask him out?

He decided that going out wasn't such a bad idea. "How about at the pub down the road? It's karaoke night tomorrow." Tyler replied. Troye head snapped up as he looked at him with a bright smile on his face. "I'll pick you up at 8. Do you live on campus?" Tyler asked searching his pockets. Troye was bright red as he nodded. "Here's my number" Tyler said as he extended his business card to the boy. They both stood facing each other for a moment before walking along. Troye said his goodbye as he made a turn towards his university. Tyler watched till his messy hair disappeared down the pavement before walking away in the opposite direction.

For the first time he was glad he had decided to come back. He smiled to himself. There really is no telling what life had in store for you.

Love it? Hate it? I am open to criticism :)


	4. Anxiety Attack

_Tap tap tap tap tap tap_

Troye's fingers twitched impatiently around his pen as the tip hit the cover of his textbook over and over again. Time seemed to be at a standstill, he was almost certain that he had been sitting in his International Theory class for more than two hours already, but his watch told him it was 4:15 which meant that he'd been there for only fifteen minutes. The monotonous drone of the professor was becoming almost intolerable. Troye sighed, running his fingers through his hair and checking the time again – still 4:15

"Tyler-" Troye's mind instantly clicked into attention, tuned into the lecture, "-M. Curley talks about the expansion of the European Union…" The lecture once again went into the background as a thought jumped up in his mind - Troye had told Tyler he was gay. He replayed the scene in his head and panic started to trickle into his system. What if he told someone? Troye knew the thought was ridiculous but he couldn't help but come up with scenarios in his head, making his ears heat up uncomfortably.

He had known that he was gay for a long time, and he hated it. Hours of googling on the topic had told him that it might be a 'passing phase' and that one could only be sure after they had had their first sexual experience.

He knew that dating Kayla was a bad idea but he had done it anyway. He forced himself out on dates and convinced himself that he was a normal teenage boy. But as much as he loved his best friend, the dates started to wear him out especially as she started being more physically intimate. Each morning he would get up and relish those few moments when reality felt like a disconnected dream, but reality would inevitably creep in filling him with terrible dread. After three months, he had run out of excuses to keep going.

The very thought of breaking his best friend's heart broke his own. But he couldn't keep lying to her; he couldn't keep lying to himself. Breaking up with Kayla was the hardest thing that he had ever done. The image of her crying on his living room couch was imbedded in his mind like a bad tattoo. A permanent and constant reminder of how terrible a person he was. He didn't tell Kayla the reason why he couldn't date her, going with the 'it's not you, it's me' speech, but he knew by the look on her face when she left his dorm room that she had blamed herself. She stopped talking to him after that and Troye couldn't face his friends any longer.

Troye had let the guilt seep in and he slowly started to let go of himself. He started losing interest in how he looked. He changed the type of clothes he wore to something that would attract the least attention. He maintained a low profile in college and pretended not to hear a thing when the people who he called his friends whispered in the hallways. A few days later he stopped styling his hair. He could hardly sleep because his mind was hell bent on making his dreams full of the demons that he had created. He only came out of his room when he had class. Yesterday was the first time in a month that he had come out of his room - only because he had run out of coffee.

The shriek of the bell brought him back to the present. He gathered his things and walked towards his room. His mind was filled to the brim with thoughts of what he was going to do, so much so that he didn't pay attention to where he was going. He bumped into someone, splaying his books on the floor. He mumbled a hundred apologies while picking his things up. He looked up only to find Kayla looking down at him with quiet amusement. She looked away quickly, crossing her arms and ducking her head. But she was too late; Troye could see the hurt in her eyes as he walked away. He wanted to call out to her but her name got stuck in his throat. He turned away. Guilt was clutching his heart in its icy grip. Each beat of his heart sent pulses of agony down his veins. He tried to keep his face as neutral as possible as he rushed to his room.

As soon as he got to his floor, he took out his keys but started fumbling with the lock because his hands were shaking so bad. The click of the lock was music to his ears as he threw himself inside locking the door behind him. He dropped his books unceremoniously on his desk and sat at the edge of the bed.

It was warm today. The dorm room felt like a concrete coffin, a final resting place for all of Troye's dreams, ambitions and happiness. A drop of sweat trickles down his spine and he shudders as he sits hunched under the creaking fan. He used to be happy, loved by all. But that was in the past – all in the past. How he longed to turn back the hands of the clock and stop himself from ever asking Kayla out. But time was cruel. It went along its own pace not bothering to look back and repent on the destruction it left behind.

Everybody hated him now, everybody he had once called a friend. That was the present reality that shackled his existence to his room. And there was no escape.

Tyler was the only person who had looked at him with no judgment in his bright eyes. That was probably why he couldn't look away when he came into the coffee shop, because what he found there was what he hoped to find from his friends – acceptance. "Tyler…" Troye thought, his face calming him down a little. But Tyler did not know about Troye, if he knew the truth about him, he would probably start hating him too. Troye was sure of it.

He reached for his phone wanting to put an end to it as fast as possible, the less he knew about Tyler, the less it would hurt when he walked away. He reached for his phone and started to text Tyler.

_Hey, it's me Troye… the  
guy from the coffee shop  
yesterday.  
-TS_

_O hey Troye :D. I'm not  
ready yet. I thought we  
decided at 8? 0:)  
-Tyler_

Troye thought for a moment, he wished more than anything to put this off and just spend one day with this boy who had made him feel alive again. He closed his eyes shaking his head.

_Actually there is something  
I need to tell you…  
-TS_

_What is it? Don't you  
cancel on me now boy,  
I just picked out the  
perfect outfit for our  
date today.  
-Tyler_

Troye froze at the word 'date' staring at him from his phone. Warmth filled his heart and he couldn't stop a smile after reading Tyler's text. Troye shook his head again irritated with himself. He was just going to say it point blank. He took a deep breath trying to steady his trembling fingers as he typed the message. Each tap of his fingers pierced his heart.HH

_Well… I wasn't sure  
if I was gay so I dated  
my best friend who's a  
girl. And I broke up with  
her a month ago and  
now she hates me and  
so do all my friends  
because I lied to them all  
this time and I still haven't  
given them a reason.  
I'm a horrible person.  
I will understand if you  
don't want to have anything  
to do with me. It was nice  
meeting you.  
Bye.  
-TS_

Troye felt his eyes prick with sadness. He felt oddly relieved, Tyler deserved better. He didn't have to waste his evening hanging out with a liar. He threw his phone on the bed and stretched, his world had started to look darker already.

The light of his phone startled him. He looked to see that Tyler had replied. "Probably to say goodbye" he thought, relishing the last feeling of connection with the boy. He opened the text message.

_So what? I don't care!  
You've been honest to  
me since I've met you  
and that's all that matters  
to me. Chill out GGIIIRRRLLL!  
Now how about that  
pub? I'm thirsty._

_-Tyler_

Troye looked at his phone as if it had come to life. His mind was silent, and his heart felt light. He calmly got up, changed his clothes and styled his hair for the first time in a month.

_See you in ten  
I'll be waiting  
outside. __  
-TS_

_See ya! :D  
-Tyler_

Troye smiled at his phone with tears in his eyes. He had no idea what he was doing. And he loved it.


	5. Chasing Cars

Tyler looked had a critical look on his face as he looked at his reflection in the full length mirror. He remembered all the times he had looked into this very mirror, knowing that as soon as he set foot in school, he would be picked on for the clothes he was wearing. He pushed away the thoughts and looked at himself in another light. He was no longer the scared little boy looking out of a crack in the closet door. He was confident, successful and even though he said it himself- good looking in his pink-red shirt which he had buttoned all the way to the top, tan pants and brown loafers. His sea foam hair was styled to perfection. He had spent an hour on it making sure that not even a strand of hair was out of place, he chided himself for putting in so much effort for one date. He wasn't even sure it was a date, but it felt important to him. Maybe it was because Troye was the first person to ever run after him when he was running away scared, not to bully him but to comfort him. Tyler smiled at his reflection. This town didn't seem too bad when somebody had your back.

His phone beeped and he turned around and picked it from his bed.

_See you in ten  
I'll be waiting  
outside.  
-TS_

Tyler felt almost giddy with excitement. He was calming himself down because just a moment ago, Troye seemed to want to cancel the date altogether. Now that he knew this was actually happening he couldn't stop himself from smiling his wide smile that everybody loved so much. He hadn't smiled much since he came home, he loved the fact that the effect of this town was wearing off of him. Realizing he hadn't replied yet, he hurriedly typed a text.

_See ya! :D  
-Tyler_

He looked at himself in the mirror one last time feeling the most confident he'd ever felt standing in his old bedroom, and then went downstairs.

"Well aren't we looking happy today!" His mum called out appraising him from the bottom of the stairs whilst cleaning a bowl. Tyler realized he still had a wide grin on his face. He tried to calm the muscles on his face but the excitement pulled it even tighter. He blushed as he looked at his mother "Well of course I'm happy, I'm here with you aren't I?" he said as he hugged his mother trying to hide his expression.

His mother pulled away lightly and put on a face of mock anger "Don't you try and distract me Tyler. Where are you going?" looking at him from head to toe, her expression changed, "Are you going on a date?" Her voice was still teasing but her smile started to fade and her shoulders slumped slightly and she had a concerned look behind her eyes.

Tyler's face fell. He knew what his mother was thinking about. The last time he had gone out on a 'date' with a boy in this town he had come home crying with blood stains on his shirt and a broken heart. The ghost of a memory went through him like physical pain. He tried his best to smile again but it felt wrong. So he just held his mother, fighting away the memory that threatened to take over his mind. "I'll be fine." He said softly but sternly looking straight into his mother's eyes. "It's not even a date, I'm just going out with a friend" he said not sure if he was telling the truth himself.

His mother looked at him, concern etched on her face. She tapped his arm lightly, looking down and smiling. "Be careful and call me if you run into any trouble okay? This isn't New York, Ty. Keep that in mind okay?" She said looking at him and nodding like she was explaining something to a small child. He always would be a child for his mother.

He hugged her tightly whispering "Don't worry" In her ears before pulling away and waving as he walked out of the front door.

He sighed as soon as he closed the door, letting the smile disappear from his face, he hated making his mother worry but he couldn't deny that she had good reasons to. He clenched his eyes and massaging his temple as the memories of that night flashed before his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths calming him down. Troye would never do that. He was certain. Tyler was taken aback by the awareness of how much he trusted the blue-eyed-boy. He smiled again at his thought. He had to stop doing that.

Tyler got into his car and drove to NCSU. He immediately recognized the figure leaning on the gate when he pulled over that the university entrance. He was dressed in sleek black jeans, black converse shoes and a blue college t-shirt that matched his eyes. He had styled his hair, Tyler noticed, instead of lying limply on his forehead his hair was curved up and away from his forehead and his bangs were curled backward. But he looked a little dazed staring straight ahead with his hands in his pockets.

Tyler rolled down the window, and called out his name. He quickly turned towards him and smiled. Tyler's heart skipped a beat. He climbed into the front seat, and Tyler could smell his cologne as it filled his car. "Sorry I'm late, mum wanted to talk to me when I was about to leave" Tyler said rolling his eyes and starting the car. "Why? Did she notice that you were going on a date?" Troye asked, Tyler started blushing – so it was a date after all. "Yep!" Tyler replied quickly.

"Was she giving you 'the talk'?" Troye teased getting comfortable on his seat. "Yeah she was totally explaining how gay sex works to me and she may have slipped a few condoms in my pocket when she was hugging me." Tyler said, trying to keep a straight face. There was a second of silence before both boys burst into laughter. Tyler kept glancing at the boy sitting next to him. His eyes were bright with mirth and the street lights that swept his face highlighted his cheek bones and the pinkness of his cheeks as he stared outside absent mindedly. Tyler gripped the steering wheel to stop him from reaching and touching Troye's face.

They pulled up on the driveway of the pub Tyler was talking about. It was called 'The Oasis', he remembered coming here with Zoe a couple of times in the past. Both boys walked in, their shoes squeaking on the freshly waxed floor. Tyler looked around and took in the place. The pub was dimly lit; the wooden stools on the counter were mostly empty and the walls were filled with framed pictures of vintage movie posters. They took the table in the corner right below 'The Breakfast Club'. The chairs were also wooden with a cushioned bottom and the tables were round and polished.

The waitress came up to them, she looked like she was in her early 20s, with auburn hair and a cheerful smile. "What can I get you boys?" She asked, her voice was exactly how Tyler imagined it to be. "I will have a Whiskey sour." Tyler said shrugging one shoulder and looking at the waitress with his head tilted "-and my friend here will have a-?" He turned to Troye smiling "A beer please. Thank you" Troye answered still looking at the menu. She scribbled down their order, "It's also karaoke night here at the Oasis! Would one of you want to go on stage?"

Tyler laughed, "I can't sing to save my life girl. So – no." he said still chuckling at the idea of himself singing on stage. "Okay, what about you?" She asked turning towards Troye, Tyler noticed that he was trying to look disinterested and ducking his head away from the waitress. The waitress' face went from amusement to recognition, "Wait - Weren't you in the musical that NCSU set up last semester?" Troye color had started to rise in his cheeks, "You have a terrific voice you should totally sing!" Troye was now blushing profusely.

Tyler was staring at Troye with amazement. Now that the waitress mentioned his voice, he wanted to hear the boy sing. "You should totally sing." He said "That would be totally hot." Did he just say that?

Before he could take it back, Troye got up. For a wild moment Tyler thought he was going to walk out, but then he walked up to the stage. He stood in front of the microphone smoothing his hair and standing awkwardly. The music started to play, Tyler found the tune familiar. He watched as Troye took a deep breath, closed his eyes and began.

_We'll do it all_

_Everything_

_On our own_

_We don't nee_

_Anything_

_Or anyone_

With that he opened his eyes and looked straight at Tyler. Tyler was awestruck. His voice was like smooth velvet, a balm that soothed the mind. Tyler watched and listened unashamed by the tears in his eyes as he watched the beautiful boy sing. He even had the voice of an angel.

Reviews are love.


	6. Papi!

Troye's legs were numb and his fingers were tingling as he stood in front of the microphone. He looked at everybody's expression in the room; it ranged from bored, curious and irritated faces to the face of absolute excitement when he turned to his date. Troye groaned inwardly, he looked so much like Kayla on their first 'date' he hated the look of expectation that Tyler had. He had both of his elbows on the table and his hands clasped each other, his lips were pursed and his bright and expectant eyes felt like a physical burden on Troye. He looked like a little boy on Christmas morning. The pressure was getting to him once he acknowledged that he was the present; he had the extreme urge to bolt to the front door, he was so scared of being judged – of being the disappointment that he was.

But this was Tyler, he told himself. He wasn't just a date, Tyler wasn't _just _anything. He was the person who talked to him when no one else had. Tyler didn't care about his shaky relationship he had with his present problems. He had made him laugh, his smile made his life brighter, he was the person who made him feel alive again, and he was the only one who he had been truthful too about who he was and had accepted him without a hitch.  
Yesterday proved that he wasn't afraid of being vulnerable in front of him. Troye decided it was time to do the same.

Troye took a shuddering breath planting his feet firmly to the ground. He was going to do this, even if it killed him. The music started, he closed his eyes when he recognized the tune – he didn't need to read the lyrics. It was one of his favorite songs – Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

_We'll do it all  
__It was a strange feeling hearing his own voice echo on the walls_

_Everything  
__He didn't sound too bad_

_On our own  
__Wait-Was this a love song?_

_We don't need  
__Maybe not_

_ Anything  
__O shit._

_Or anyone  
__Yes it was_

With that he opened his eyes to look at Tyler with alarm. It was much too early for love songs, but he had had no control over the choice of the song. What was Tyler going to think?

But Troye's fears dissolved as quickly as it had formed. Tyler was looking at him as if he had seen him for the first time. He no longer looked excited, he was resting on his elbows and he looked like he was literally at the edge of his seat, watching spellbound. His head was tilted and his mouth was slightly agape, a smile tugging the ends of his lips. Were those tears sparkling in his eyes?

The emotions that played out on Tyler's face made confidence surge through Troye. He held the mic close to his face.

_If I lay here_  
He could hear the smile on his own voice

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_And just forget the world?_  
He looked at Tyler as if asking the question straight to him. Troye closed his eyes again, reminding him that he was not singing a love song to Tyler. Or was he?

_I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel  
_Troye felt his throat tighten with the truth behind those words

_Those three words  
Are said too much  
They're not enough  
_Those words were an empty lie when he had last said them.

He closed his eyes letting the emotions of the song play through him. He dived into the lyrics and sang with all his heart, getting into the song and the moment. He sang the rest of the song with ease. It was so pleasant to sing again, he had given up even singing in the shower after his breakup with Kayla.

When he came to the last verse he was almost out of breath, it was an exhilarating feeling. He locked eyes with Tyler singing the lines directly to him hoping to say through song what he did not have the guts to say in conversation.  
_  
All that I am  
All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes  
They're all I can see  
I don't know where  
Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things  
Will never change for us at all_

He saw Tyler's eyes widen and at that moment Troye knew, he understood, he understood everything. He was startled by the applause that broke through the moment as the last of the music faded. He looked around to see that everybody in the pub was clapping. The confidence that he was feeling a moment ago was push away by the awkwardness that came back. He gave a shaky smile and looked at the floor. He could hear the loudest applause coming from the corner of the room.

He made his way down from the stage looking still looking down, afraid that he might trip on something. Once he got to his table he chanced a glance at Tyler. He was on his feet still clapping even thought the rest of the pub had fallen into their little worlds. He smiled shyly and took his seat.

"That was amazing!" Tyler gushed, sitting back down. "It was nothing" Troye said, not knowing how to respond. Tyler huffed "How dare you?" he said teasingly, "_You_ were amazing." Troye chuckled thanking him. Just then the waitress came with their drinks, both taking them silently still throwing shy glances at each other. The waitress gave them both a knowing smile before walking away still smiling.

"How long have you been singing?" Tyler asked taking a sip of his whiskey. "'Quite a while now," Troye said thoughtfully, "I was in the church choir when I was young but I've always loved singing." Tyler was looking at him urging for him to continue "Singing is the one way I feel better, I guess it's the only way I know how to vent my emotions." Troye said.

"Hmmm." Tyler looked at his drink rotating the glass with his fingers, "y'know, I don't think I have a thing." Troye looked at him with utmost confusion, Tyler cackled taking in his expression "I mean y'know how people say that they write about their emotions or they sing, dance – you name it. I just talk." He said making a gesture with his hands. "That's kind of why I went in for journalism, so that I can talk to people." He said smiling at Troye; he nearly choked on his beer.

"If you love talking so much, you should start a talk show." Troye said trying to make a joke. "That's the dream" said Tyler sighing dramatically. "Wait really?" Troye said "Yeah. I mean imagine, having your favorite people and celebrities on your own show and chatting with them and getting paid for it!" Tyler said laughing. "What's the dream for you Troye Sivan?" He said looking at him from above his glasses. Just then a child who was running around yelled "Papi!" searching for his father. Tyler snapped his head around as if someone had called his name.

Troye started laughing and he couldn't stop thanks to the alcohol "Why did you turn around?" He managed to get out in between fits of laughter. Tyler joined in the laughter, his face pink with embarrassment. "I don't know! Brain fart!" He said making a fart gesture near his head. Tyler continued to cackle, squinching his eyes. His laugh was so infectious, making Troye laugh even harder.

They both stopped after a while, wiping their eyes and still giggling a little. "So, what were you asking me Papi?" Troye asked chuckling. Tyler nearly lost it again "What-"he chuckled "What is the dream for you?" he said with much difficulty. "Get married, have kids, go to the moon, play professional basketball-" Tyler wiped his eyes, chuckling "No, seriously" He said cutting him off.

"I would love to sing for a living, produce an album…" Troye said. "But honestly, the real dream is falling in love, because what is all that success and money if you have no one to share it with?" Tyler looked a bit more serious "Wow that was so deep." He said smiling "But you're right it all becomes pointless if you're alone." He said.

"We should head back" Troye said looking at the time, he had to get up for a 9 am class tomorrow. "Yeah, we should call a cab" Tyler said checking the time in his phone.

After paying the bill, they both headed outside. The cool night air hit them as soon as they stepped out. Tyler's hand hesitantly touched Troye's as they walked towards the parking lot. Troye looked at Tyler in surprise, Tyler opened his mouth to say something when Troye reached out and took his hand in his own. Tyler's mouth closed shut; he looked adorable with his face flushed and his usually impeccable hair sticking up unevenly, his eyes were half closed as he looked at Troye with a lopsided smile.

They waited hand in hand in comfortable silence for the taxi to come. Once it arrived they both climbed into the back seat. Tyler rested his head on Troye's shoulder, their hands still clasped. Troye smiled to himself - drunken Tyler Oakley was precious.

A/N- we all fangirled so hard when Troye called Tyler 'Pappii' on twitter. I just had to use it in the story. I hope you enjoyed the update! Do let me know what you think.


	7. Night Terror

Tyler waved goodbye, his eyes trailing the taxi till the tail lights turned into tiny red dots in the distance. When he was satisfied that he couldn't see them anymore, he turned towards the front door. Tyler staggered into his house and up to his bedroom. All the day's events had worn him out and now he was running on fumes. All he wanted to do now was crash into bed and let his pillow and the soft covers swallow him into oblivion.

The house was dark, he walked as quietly as possible to his room careful not to wake his mom. Each creek that the wooden floor made seemed to cut through the silence like daggers. Pursing his lips and grabbing the railing in a vice like grip, he finally made it to his room. He shut the door slowly and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He got into his pajamas in record time and simply collapsed in his bed. He felt so happy and content, he had a warm feeling all over his body and Tyler couldn't tell if it was because of the alcohol or because of Troye. Tyler mashed his face into the pillow as he was suddenly overcome by the thought of the boy. He could still smell his cologne, the way his shoulder rose and fell against his cheek in the taxi ride home, Troye's jawline just inches away from his face. Tyler pushed his face further into his pillow overwhelmed by the strange feeling in his stomach.

Tyler turned around in his bed to face the ceiling, he took a deep breath and calmed himself. His last thoughts were of Troye as he slowly drifted to sleep.

_It was spring and Tyler was sitting at the park bench just looking at the beauty of it all. Two birds were flying in the distance, the sky seemed so blue without a single speck of cloud to be seen for miles, the trees looked fresh in their new greens and flowers were at full bloom everywhere. The air seemed heavy with their scent and the different colours that spread through the park was a dessert for the eyes. There was a tiny yellow flower that had bloomed from a crack in the stone just next to his foot. Tyler looked at it and smiled, he had never felt so alive._

_He heard heavy footfall coming closer to him, he looked up, the smile on his face grew wider when he saw Dan coming towards him. He had a goofy smile on his face. Tyler's smile faltered, for a fleeting moment he thought he was expecting someone else. Tyler shook his head, Dan was his boyfriend, who else could he have been expecting._

"_Hey you." Dan said teasingly as he grabbed Tyler's hand and pulled him upright. Dan pulled him towards the willow tree. Dan pushed Tyler's hair behind his ear and looked at him fondly. He leaned in closer. "Nobody's looking" he whispered in Tyler's ear, their eyes met and Tyler felt himself blush. He looked into the warm brown eyes as they got closer and closer, his heart raced at an alarming pace before their lips finally touched._

_But instead of feeling giddy and excited, all Tyler felt was dread rapidly rising in his chest. Tyler had a sinking feeling in his stomach, all of this seemed too familiar. There was something wrong and he knew it. He knew how this was going to end._

_The scene changed, it was dark and Dan and Tyler were in an alley. There were two men on both sides of the alley, but they weren't strangers – no. They were the people who had made it their personal mission to make Tyler's life a living hell, his bullies._

"_You fags need to get the hell away from this town! And we're gonna make sure that you do!" Chris shouted as he grabbed Dan from the back, locking his elbows, Dan started struggling violently. Without a moments delay Eli came in front of Dan and punched him in the gut. Tyler was frozen with fear as punch after punch fell on his boyfriend. Tyler covered his eyes with his hands, he heard the sickening sound as fists made contact with his body, he heard Dan's breathing go ragged and each time Dan said "stop" Tyler felt physical pain go through his own body. Chris let go of Dan and he fell unceremoniously to the ground. At this moment, Dan's eyes met Tyler's._

"_RUN!" Dan screamed almost animalistic in terror._

_Tyler panicked mind couldn't thinks straight, he turned around only to get punched squarely in the jaw. The whole world tilted as his head cracked on the concrete. Without even a moment to recover he saw a boot rapidly approaching his face. It felt explosive pain and the sickening sound of his bone breaking. Then he felt a sharp pain in his ribs as they started kicking him. He clenched his eyes shut, flashes of agony burst in the darkness._

Tyler woke up with a gasp. He bolted up sitting straight clutching his rapidly beating heart. _It was just a dream it was just a dream it was just a dream _he chanted as he desperately tried to get a hold on reality. He felt the dampness on his cheeks and the sheer terror that filled his system was still making his heart go at an alarming pace, drenching him in cold sweat.

When the terror failed to subside, he threw himself out of bed and rushed into the bathroom. He undressed as fast as he could and stood under the shower. The first shock of cold water nearly made him scream, Tyler just concentrated on the temperature of the water and the way it felt as it trickled over his body. _It wasn't real, it was just a dream. _He reminded himself as he let the water clear the fog away from his mind. He looked down at his trembling hands numbly for a moment before stepping out of the shower and drying himself.

He sat in his bed, his heart still feeling uncomfortable in his chest. Tyler looked at the time and it was four in the morning. He just lay in his bed feeling exhausted and terrified of falling asleep and being engulfed by the nightmare again. He closed his eyes praying for a dreamless sleep.

Tyler woke up disoriented, his phone was ringing and there was sunlight streaming from his window. Tyler groaned as he reached out and grabbed his iphone from his bedside table. Squinting at the screen he tried to read who was calling him. He nearly dropped his phone when the name staring back from his phone was 'Dan'.


End file.
